Anton Pavlovich Chekhov 



   In An Hotel

    "Let me tell you, my good man," began Madame Nashatyrin, the colonel's lady 
at No. 47, crimson and spluttering, as she pounced on the hotel-keeper. "Either 
give me other apartments, or I shall leave your  confounded  hotel  altogether! 
It's a sink of iniquity! Mercy on us, I have grown-up daughters and  one  hears 
nothing but abominations day and night! It's beyond everything!  Day and night! 
Sometimes he fires off such things that  it  simply  makes  one's  ears  blush! 
Positively like a cabman. It's a good thing that my poor girls don't understand 
or I should have to fly out into the street with them... He's saying  something 
now! You listen!" 
    "I know a thing better than that, my boy," a husky bass floated in from the 
next room. "Do you remember Lieutenant Druzhkov? Well, that same  Druzhkov  was 
one day making a drive with the yellow into the pocket and as he  usually  did, 
you know, flung up his leg... All at once something  went  crrr-ack!  At  first 
they thought he had torn the cloth of the billiard table, but when they looked, 
my dear fellow, his United States had split at every seam!  He  had  made  such 
a high kick, the beast, that not a seam was left... Ha-ha-ha,  and  there  were 
ladies present, too... among others the  wife  of  that  drivelling  Lieutenant 
Okurin... Okurin was furious... 'How dare the fellow,' said  he,  'behave  with 
impropriety in the presence of my wife?' One thing led to another...  you  know 
our fellows!.. Okurin sent seconds to Druzhkov, and  Druzhkov  said  'don't  be 
a fool'... ha-ha-ha,  'but tell him he had better send seconds not to me but to 
the tailor who made me those breeches; it is his fault,  you  know.'  Ha-ha-ha! 
Ha-ha-ha..." 
    Lilya and Mila, the colonel's daughters, who were  sitting  in  the  window 
with their round cheeks propped on their fists,  flushed  crimson  and  dropped 
their eyes that looked buried in their plump faces. 
    "Now  you  have  heard  him,  haven't  you?"  Madame  Nashatyrin  went  on, 
addressing the hotel-keeper.  "And  that,  you  consider,  of  no  consequence, 
I suppose? I am the wife of a colonel, sir! My husband is a commanding officer. 
I will not permit some cabman to utter such infamies almost in my presence!" 
    "He is not a cabman, madam, but  the  staff-captain  Kikin...  A  gentleman 
born." 
    "If he has so  far  forgotten  his  station  as  to  express  himself  like 
a cabman, then he is even more deserving of contempt! In  short,  don't  answer 
me, but kindly take steps!" 
    "But what can  I  do,  madam?  You  are  not  the  only  one  to  complain, 
everybody's complaining, but what am I to do with him? One goes to his room and 
begins putting him to shame, saying: 'Hannibal Ivanitch, have some fear of God! 
It's shameful!' and he'll punch you in the face with  his  fists  and  say  all 
sorts of things: 'there, put that in your pipe and smoke it,'  and  such  like. 
It's a disgrace! He wakes up in the morning  and  sets  to  walking  about  the 
corridor in nothing, saving your presence, but his underclothes.  And  when  he 
has had a drop he will pick up a revolver and set to putting bullets  into  the 
wall. By day he is swilling liquor and at night he plays cards  like  mad,  and 
after cards it is fighting... I am ashamed for the other lodgers to see it!" 
    "Why don't you get rid of the scoundrel?" 
    "Why, there's no getting him out! He owes me for three months, but we don't 
ask for our money, we simply ask him to get out as a favour...  The  magistrate 
has given him an order to clear out of the rooms, but he's taking it  from  one 
court to another, and so it drags on... He's a perfect nuisance, that's what he 
is. And, good Lord, such a man, too! Young,  good-looking  and  intellectual... 
When he hasn't had a drop you couldn't wish to see a nicer gentleman. The other 
day he wasn't drunk and he spent the whole day writing letters  to  his  father 
and mother." 
    "Poor father and mother!" sighed the colonel's lady. 
    "They are to be pitied, to be sure!  There's  no  comfort  in  having  such 
a scamp! He's sworn at and turned out of his lodgings, and not a day passes but 
he is in trouble over some scandal. It's sad!" 
    "His poor unhappy wife!" sighed the lady. 
    "He has no wife, madam. A likely idea! She would have to thank God  if  her 
head were not broken..." 
    The lady walked up and down the room. 
    "He is not married, you say?" 
    "Certainly not, madam." 
    The lady walked up and down the room again and mused a little. 
    "H'm, not married..." she pronounced meditatively. "H'm.  Lilya  and  Mila, 
don't sit at the window, there's a draught! What a pity! A young man and to let 
himself sink to this! And all owing to what? The lack of good influence!  There 
is no mother who would... Not married? Well... there  it  is...  Please  be  so 
good," the lady continued suavely after a moment's thought, "as to  go  to  him 
and ask him in my name to... refrain from using expressions...  Tell  him  that 
Madame Nashatyrin begs him... Tell  him  she  is  staying  with  her  daughters 
in No. 47... that she has come up from her estate in the country..." 
    "Certainly." 
    "Tell him, a colonel's lady and her  daughters.  He  might  even  come  and 
apologize... We are always at home after dinner. Oh, Mila, shut the window!" 
    "Why, what do you want with that... black sheep, mamma?" drawled Lilya when 
the hotel-keeper had retired. "A queer  person  to  invite!  A  drunken,  rowdy 
rascal!" 
    "Oh, don't say so, ma chère! You always talk like that;  and  there...  sit 
down! Why, whatever he may be, we ought not to despise him... There's something 
good in everyone. Who knows," sighed the colonel's lady, looking her  daughters 
up and down  anxiously,  "perhaps  your  fate  is  here.  Change  your  dresses 
anyway..." 

    1885

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