Anton Pavlovich Chekhov
The Wedding
Characters:
E v d o k i m Z a h a r o v i t c h Z h i g a l o v, a retired Civil
Servant.
N a s t a s y a T i m o f e y e v n a, his wife.
D a s h e n k a, their daughter.
E p a m i n o n d M a x i m o v i t c h A p l o m b o v, Dashenka's
bridegroom.
F y o d o r Y a k o v l e v i t c h R e v u n o v - K a r a u l o v, a
retired captain.
A n d r e y A n d r e y e v i t c h N u n i n, an insurance agent.
A n n a M a r t i n o v n a Z m e y u k i n a, a midwife, aged 30, in a
brilliantly red dress.
I v a n M i h a i l o v i t c h Y a t s, a telegraphist.
H a r l a m p i S p i r i d o n o v i t c h D i m b a, a Greek
confectioner.
D m i t r i S t e p a n o v i t c h M o z g o v o y, a sailor of the
Imperial Navy (Volunteer Fleet).
G r o o m s m e n, g e n t l e m e n, w a i t e r s, etc.
The scene is laid in one of the rooms of Andronov's Restaurant.
A brilliantly illuminated room. A large table, laid for supper. Waiters in
dress-jackets are fussing round the table. An orchestra behind the scene is
playing the music of the last figure of a quadrille.
Z m e y u k i n a, Y a t s, and a g r o o m s m a n cross the stage.
Z m e y u k i n a. No, no, no!
Y a t s (following her). Have pity on us! Have pity!
Z m e y u k i n a. No, no, no!
G r o o m s m a n (chasing them). You can't go on like this! Where are
you off to? What about the grand ronde? Grand ronde, s'il vous plait!
They all go off.
Enter N a s t a s y a T i m o f e y e v n a and A p l o m b o v.
N a s t a s y a T i m o f e y e v n a. You had much better be dancing
than upsetting me with your speeches.
A p l o m b o v. I'm not a Spinosa or anybody of that sort, to go making
figures-of-eight with my legs. I am a serious man, and I have a character, and
I see no amusement in empty pleasures. But it isn't just a matter of dances.
You must excuse me, maman, but there is a good deal in your behaviour which
I am unable to understand. For instance, in addition to objects of domestic
importance, you promised also to give me, with your daughter, two lottery
tickets. Where are they?
N a s t a s y a T i m o f e y e v n a. My head's aching a little...
I expect it's on account of the weather... If only it thawed!
A p l o m b o v. You won't get out of it like that. I only found out
to-day that those tickets are in pawn. You must excuse me, maman, but it's only
swindlers who behave like that. I'm not doing this out of egoisticism - I don't
want your tickets - but on principle; and I don't allow myself to be done by
anybody. I have made your daughter happy, and if you don't give me the tickets
to-day I'll make short work of her. I'm an honourable man!
N a s t a s y a T i m o f e y e v n a (looks round the table and counts
up the covers). One, two, three, four, five...
W a i t e r. The cook asks if you would like the ices served with rum,
madeira, or by themselves?
A p l o m b o v. With rum. And tell the manager that there's not enough
wine. Tell him to prepare some more Haut Sauterne. (To Nastasya Timofeyevna.)
You also promised and agreed that a general was to be here to supper. And where
is he?
N a s t a s y a T i m o f e y e v n a. That isn't my fault, my dear.
A p l o m b o v. Whose fault, then?
N a s t a s y a T i m o f e y e v n a. It's Andrey Andreyevitch's
fault... Yesterday he came to see us and promised to bring a perfectly real
general. (Sighs.) I suppose he couldn't find one anywhere, or he'd have brought
him... You think we don't mind? We'd begrudge our child nothing. A general, of
course...
A p l o m b o v. But there's more... Everybody, including yourself,
maman, is aware of the fact that Yats, that telegraphist, was after Dashenka
before I proposed to her. Why did you invite him? Surely you knew it would be
unpleasant for me?
N a s t a s y a T i m o f e y e v n a. Oh, how can you? Epaminond
Maximovitch was married himself only the other day, and you've already tired me
and Dashenka out with your talk. What will you be like in a year's time? You
are horrid, really horrid.
A p l o m b o v. Then you don't like to hear the truth? Aha! Oh, oh! Then
behave honourably. I only want you to do one thing, be honourable!
Couples dancing the grand ronde come in at one door and out at the other end.
The first couple are D a s h e n k a with one of the g r o o m s m e n. The
last are Y a t s and Z m e y u k i n a. These two remain behind.
Z h i g a l o v and D i m b a enter and go up to the table.
G r o o m s m a n (shouting). Promenade! Messieurs, promenade! (Behind).
Promenade!
The dancers have all left the scene.
Y a t s (To Zmeyukina). Have pity! Have pity, adorable Anna Martinovna.
Z m e y u k i n a. Oh, what a man!.. I've already told you that I've no
voice to-day.
Y a t s. I implore you to sing! Just one note! Have pity! Just one note!
Z m e y u k i n a. I'm tired of you... (Sits and fans herself.)
Y a t s. No, you're simply heartless! To be so cruel - if I may express
myself - and to have such a beautiful, beautiful voice! With such a voice, if
you will forgive my using the word, you shouldn't be a midwife, but sing at
concerts, at public gatherings! For example, how divinely you do that
fioritura... that... (Sings.) "I loved you; love was vain then..." Exquisite!
Z m e y u k i n a. (Sings.) "I loved you, and may love again." Is that
it?
Y a t s. That's it! Beautiful!
Z m e y u k i n a. No, I've no voice to-day... There, wave this fan for
me... it's hot! (To Aplombov.) Epaminond Maximovitch, why are you so
melancholy? A bridegroom shouldn't be! Aren't you ashamed of yourself, you
wretch? Well, what are you so thoughtful about?
A p l o m b o v. Marriage is a serious step! Everything must be
considered from all sides, thoroughly.
Z m e y u k i n a. What beastly sceptics you all are! I feel quite
suffocated with you all around... Give me atmosphere! Do you hear? Give me
atmosphere! (Sings a few notes.)
Y a t s. Beautiful! Beautiful!
Z m e y u k i n a. Fan me, fan me, or I feel I shall have a heart attack
in a minute. Tell me, please, why do I feel so suffocated?
Y a t s. It's because you're sweating...
Z m e y u k i n a. Foo, how vulgar you are! Don't dare to use such words!
Y a t s. Beg pardon! Of course, you're used, if I may say so, to
aristocratic society and...
Z m e y u k i n a. Oh, leave me alone! Give me poetry, delight! Fan me,
fan me!
Z h i g a l o v. (To Dimba.) Let's have another, what? (Pours out.) One
can always drink. So long only, Harlampi Spiridonovitch, as one doesn't forget
one's business. Drink and be merry... And if you can drink at somebody else's
expense, then why not drink? You can drink... Your health! (They drink.) And do
you have tigers in Greece?
D i m b a. Yes.
Z h i g a l o v. And lions?
D i m b a. And lions too. In Russia zere's nussing, and in Greece zere's
everysing - my fazer and uncle and brozeres - and here zere's nussing.
Z h i g a l o v. H'm... And are there whales in Greece?
D i m b a. Yes, everysing.
N a s t a s y a T i m o f e y e v n a. (To her husband.) What are they
all eating and drinking like that for? It's time for everybody to sit down to
supper. Don't keep on shoving your fork into the lobsters... They're for the
general. He may come yet...
Z h i g a l o v. And are there lobsters in Greece?
D i m b a. Yes... zere is everysing.
Z h i g a l o v. Hm... And Civil Servants?
Z m e y u k i n a. I can imagine what the atmosphere is like in Greece!
Z h i g a l o v. There must be a lot of swindling. The Greeks are just
like the Armenians or gipsies. They sell you a sponge or a goldfish and all the
time they are looking out for a chance of getting something extra out of you.
Let's have another, what?
N a s t a s y a T i m o f e y e v n a. What do you want to go on having
another for? It's time everybody sat down to supper. It's past eleven.
Z h i g a l o v. If it's time, then it's time. Ladies and gentlemen,
please! (Shouts.) Supper! Young people!
N a s t a s y a T i m o f e y e v n a. Dear visitors, please be seated!
Z m e y u k i n a (sitting down at the table). Give me poetry.
"And he, the rebel, seeks the storm,
As if the storm can give him peace."
Give me the storm!
Y a t s (aside). Wonderful woman! I'm in love! Up to my ears!
Enter D a s h e n k a, M o z g o v o y, g r o o m s m e n, v a r i o u s
l a d i e s a n d g e n t l e m e n, etc. They all noisily seat themselves at
the table. There is a minute's pause, while the band plays a march.
M o z g o v o y (rising). Ladies and gentlemen! I must tell you this...
We are going to have a great many toasts and speeches. Don't let's wait, but
begin at once. Ladies and gentlemen, the newly married!
The band plays a flourish. Cheers. Glasses are touched. A p l o m b o v and
D a s h e n k a kiss each other.
Y a t s. Beautiful! Beautiful! I must say, ladies and gentlemen, giving
honour where it is due, that this room and the accommodation generally are
splendid! Excellent, wonderful! Only you know, there's one thing we haven't
got - electric light, if I may say so! Into every country electric light has
already been introduced, only Russia lags behind.
Z h i g a l o v (meditatively). Electricity... h'm... In my opinion
electric lighting is just a swindle... They put a live coal in and think you
don't see them! No, if you want a light, then you don't take a coal, but
something real, something special, that you can get hold of! You must have a
fire, you understand, which is natural, not just an invention!
Y a t s. If you'd ever seen an electric battery, and how it's made up,
you'd think differently.
Z h i g a l o v. Don't want to see one. It's a swindle, a fraud on the
public... They want to squeeze our last breath out of us... We know then,
these... And, young man, instead of defending a swindle, you would be much
better occupied if you had another yourself and poured out some for other
people - yes!
A p l o m b o v. I entirely agree with you, papa. Why start a learned
discussion? I myself have no objection to talking about every possible
scientific discovery, but this isn't the time for all that! (To Dashenka.) What
do you think, ma chère?
D a s h e n k a. They want to show how educated they are, and so they
always talk about things we can't understand.
N a s t a s y a T i m o f e y e v n a. Thank God, we've lived our time
without being educated, and here we are marrying off our third daughter to an
honest man. And if you think we're uneducated, then what do you want to come
here for? Go to your educated friends!
Y a t s. I, Nastasya Timofeyevna, have always held your family in
respect, and if I did start talking about electric lighting it doesn't mean
that I'm proud. I'll drink, to show you. I have always sincerely wished Daria
Evdokimovna a good husband. In these days, Nastasya Timofeyevna, it is
difficult to find a good husband. Nowadays everybody is on the look-out for
a marriage where there is profit, money...
A p l o m b o v. That's a hint!
Y a t s. (his courage failing). I wasn't hinting at anything... Present
company is always excepted... I was only in general... Please! Everybody knows
that you're marrying for love... the dowry is quite trifling.
N a s t a s y a T i m o f e y e v n a. No, it isn't trifling! You be
careful what you say. Besides a thousand roubles of good money, we're giving
three dresses, the bed, and all the furniture. You won't find another dowry
like that in a hurry!
Y a t s. I didn't mean... The furniture's splendid, of course, and... and
the dresses, but I never hinted at what they are getting offended at.
N a s t a s y a T i m o f e y e v n a. Don't you go making hints. We
respect you on account of your parents, and we've invited you to the wedding,
and here you go talking. If you knew that Epaminond Maximovitch was marrying
for profit, why didn't you say so before? (Tearfully.) I brought her up, I fed
her, I nursed her... I cared for her more than if she was an emerald jewel, my
little girl...
A p l o m b o v. And you go and believe him? Thank you so much! I'm very
grateful to you! (To Yats.) And as for you, Mr. Yats, although you are
acquainted with me, I shan't allow you to behave like this in another's house.
Please get out of this!
Y a t s. What do you mean?
A p l o m b o v. I want you to be as straightforward as I am! In short,
please get out!
Band plays a flourish.
G e n t l e m e n. Leave him alone! Sit down! Is it worth it! Let him be!
Stop it now!
Y a t s. I never... I... I don't understand... Please, I'll go... Only
you first give me the five roubles which you borrowed from me last year on the
strength of a piqué waistcoat, if I may say so. Then I'll just have another
drink and... go, only give me the money first.
V a r i o u s g e n t l e m e n. Sit down! That's enough! Is it worth
it, just for such trifles?
G r o o m s m a n (shouts). The health of the bride's parents, Evdokim
Zaharitch and Nastasya Timofeyevna!
Band plays a flourish. Cheers.
Z h i g a l o v (bows in all directions, in great emotion). I thank you!
Dear guests! I am very grateful to you for not having forgotten and for having
conferred this honour upon us without being standoffish And you must not think
that I'm a rascal, or that I'm trying to swindle anybody. I'm speaking from my
heart - from the purity of my soul! I wouldn't deny anything to good people! We
thank you very humbly! (Kisses.)
D a s h e n k a (to her mother). Mama, why are you crying? I'm so happy!
A p l o m b o v. Maman is disturbed at your coming separation. But
I should advise her rather to remember the last talk we had.
Y a t s. Don't cry, Nastasya Timofeyevna! Just think what are human
tears, anyway? Just petty psychiatry, and nothing more!
Z h i g a l o v. And are there any red-haired men in Greece?
D i m b a. Yes, everysing is zere.
Z h i g a l o v. But you don't have our kinds of mushroom.
D i m b a. Yes, we've got zem and everysing.
M o z g o v o y. Harlampi Spiridonovitch, it's your turn to speak! Ladies
and gentlemen, a speech!
A l l (to Dimba). Speech! speech! Your turn!
D i m b a. Why? I don't understand... What is it!
Z m e y u k i n a. No, no! You can't refuse! It's you turn! Get up!
D i m b a (gets up, confused). I can't say what... Zere's Russia and
zere's Greece. Zere's people in Russia and people in Greece... And zere's
people swimming the sea in karavs, which mean sips, and people on the land in
railway trains. I understand. We are Greeks and you are Russians, and I want
nussing... I can tell you... zere's Russia and zere's Greece...
Enter N u n i n.
N u n i n. Wait, ladies and gentlemen, don't eat now! Wait! Just one
minute, Nastasya Timofeyevna! Just come here, if you don't mind! (Takes
Nastasya Timofeyevna aside, puffing.) Listen... The General's coming... I found
one at last... I'm simply worn out... A real General, a solid one - old, you
know, aged perhaps eighty, or even ninety.
N a s t a s y a T i m o f e y e v n a. When is he coming?
N u n i n. This minute. You'll be grateful to me all your life.
A few lines have been omitted: they refer to the "General's" rank and its civil
equivalent in words for which the English language has no corresponding terms.
The "General" is an ex-naval officer, a second-class captain.
N a s t a s y a T i m o f e y e v n a. You're not deceiving me, Andrey
darling?
N u n i n. Well, now, am I a swindler? You needn't worry!
N a s t a s y a T i m o f e y e v n a (sighs). One doesn't like to spend
money for nothing, Andrey darling!
N u n i n. Don't you worry! He's not a general, he's a dream! (Raises his
voice.) I said to him: "You've quite forgotten us, your Excellency! It isn't
kind of your Excellency to forget your old friends! Nastasya Timofeyevna," I
said to him, "she's very annoyed with you about it!" (Goes and sits at the
table.) And he says to me: "But, my friend, how can I go when I don't know the
bridegroom?" "Oh, nonsense, your excellency, why stand on ceremony? The
bridegroom," I said to him, "he's a fine fellow, very free and easy. He's a
valuer," I said, "at the Law courts, and don't you think, your excellency, that
he's some rascal, some knave of hearts. Nowadays," I said to him, "even decent
women are employed at the Law courts." He slapped me on the shoulder, we smoked
a Havana cigar each, and now he's coming... Wait a little, ladies and
gentlemen, don't eat...
A p l o m b o v. When's he coming?
N u n i n. This minute. When I left him he was already putting on his
goloshes. Wait a little, ladies and gentlemen, don't eat yet.
A p l o m b o v. The band should be told to play a march.
N u n i n (shouts). Musicians! A march!
The band plays a march for a minute.
W a i t e r. Mr. Revunov-Karaulov!
Z h i g a l o v, N a s t a s y a T i m o f e y e v n a, and N u n i n run
to meet him. Enter R e v u n o v - K a r a u l o v.
N a s t a s y a T i m o f e y e v n a (bowing). Please come in, your
excellency! So glad you've come!
R e v u n o v. Awfully!
Z h i g a l o v. We, your excellency, aren't celebrities, we aren't
important, but quite ordinary, but don't think on that account that there's any
fraud. We put good people into the best place, we begrudge nothing. Please!
R e v u n o v. Awfully glad!
N u n i n. Let me introduce to you, your excellency, the bridegroom,
Epaminond Maximovitch Aplombov, with his newly born... I mean his newly
married wife! Ivan Mihailovitch Yats, employed on the telegraph! A foreigner of
Greek nationality, a confectioner by trade, Harlampi Spiridonovitch Dimba! Osip
Lukitch Babelmandebsky! And so on, and so on... The rest are just trash. Sit
down, your excellency!
R e v u n o v. Awfully! Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, I just want to
say two words to Andrey. (Takes Nunin aside.) I say, old man, I'm a little put
out... Why do you call me your excellency? I'm not a general! I don't rank as
the equivalent of a colonel, even.
N u n i n (whispers). I know, only, Fyodor Yakovlevitch, be a good man
and let us call you your excellency! The family here, you see, is patriarchal;
it respects the aged, it likes rank.
R e v u n o v. Oh, if it's like that, very well... (Goes to the table.)
Awfully!
N a s t a s y a T i m o f e y e v n a. Sit down, your excellency! Be so
good as to have some of this, your excellency! Only forgive us for not being
used to etiquette; we're plain people!
R e v u n o v (not hearing). What? Hm... yes.
Pause.
Yes... In the old days everybody used to live simply and was happy. In spite of
my rank, I am a man who lives plainly. To-day Andrey comes to me and asks me to
come here to the wedding. "How shall I go," I said, "when I don't know them?
It's not good manners!" But he says: "They are good, simple, patriarchal
people, glad to see anybody." Well, if that's the case... why not? Very glad to
come. It's very dull for me at home by myself, and if my presence at a wedding
can make anybody happy, then I'm delighted to be here...
Z h i g a l o v. Then that's sincere, is it, your excellency? I respect
that! I'm a plain man myself, without any deception, and I respect others who
are like that. Eat, your excellency!
A p l o m b o v. Is it long since you retired, your excellency?
R e v u n o v. Eh? Yes, yes... Quite true... Yes. But, excuse me, what is
this? The fish is sour... and the bread is sour. I can't eat this!
A p l o m b o v and D a s h e n k a kiss each other.
He, he, he... Your health!
Pause.
Yes... In the old days everything was simple and everybody was glad... I love
simplicity... I'm an old man. I retired in 1865. I'm 72. Yes, of course, in my
younger days it was different, but... (Sees Mozgovoy.) You there... a sailor,
are you?
M o z g o v o y. Yes, just so.
R e v u n o v. Aha, so... yes. The navy means hard work. There's a lot to
think about and get a headache over. Every insignificant word has, so to speak,
its special meaning! For instance, "Hoist her top-sheets and mainsail!" What's
it mean? A sailor can tell! He, he! With almost mathematical precision!
N u n i n. The health of his excellency Fyodor Yakovlevitch Revunov-
Karaulov!
Band plays a flourish. Cheers.
Y a t s. You, your excellency, have just expressed yourself on the
subject of the hard work involved in a naval career. But is telegraphy any
easier? Nowadays, your excellency, nobody is appointed to the telegraphs if he
cannot read and write French and German. But the transmission of telegrams is
the most difficult thing of all. Awfully difficult! Just listen.
Taps with his fork on the table, like a telegraphic transmitter.
R e v u n o v. What does that mean?
Y a t s. It means, "I honour you, your excellency, for your virtues." You
think it's easy? Listen now. (Taps.)
R e v u n o v. Louder; I can't hear...
Y a t s. That means, "Madam, how happy I am to hold you in my embraces!"
R e v u n o v. What madam are you talking about? Yes... (To Mozgovoy.)
Yes, if there's a head-wind you must... let's see... you must hoist your
foretop halyards and topsail halyards! The order is: "On the cross-trees to the
foretop halyards and topsail halyards" and at the same time, as the sails get
loose, you take hold underneath of the foresail and fore-topsail halyards,
stays and braces.
G r o o m s m a n (rising). Ladies and gentlemen...
R e v u n o v (cutting him short). Yes... there are a great many orders
to give. "Furl the fore-topsail and the foretop-gallant sail!!" Well, what does
that mean? It's very simple! It means that if the top and top-gallant sails are
lifting the halyards, they must level the foretop and foretop-gallant halyards
on the hoist and at the same time the top-gallants braces, as needed, are
loosened according to the direction of the wind...
N u n i n (to Revunov). Fyodor Yakovlevitch, Mme. Zhigalov asks you to
talk about something else. It's very dull for the guests, who can't
understand...
R e v u n o v. What? Who's dull? (To Mozgovoy.) Young man! Now suppose
the ship is lying by the wind, on the starboard tack, under full sail, and
you've got to bring her before the wind. What's the order? Well, first you
whistle up above! He, he!
N u n i n. Fyodor Yakovlevitch, that's enough. Eat something.
R e v u n o v. As soon as the men are on deck you give the order, "To
your places!" What a life! You give orders, and at the same time you've got to
keep your eyes on the sailors, who run about like flashes of lightning and get
the sails and braces right. And at last you can't restrain yourself, and you
shout, "Good children!" (He chokes and coughs.)
G r o o m s m a n (making haste to use the ensuing pause to advantage).
On this occasion, so to speak, on the day on which we have met together to
honour our dear...
R e v u n o v (interrupting). Yes, you've got to remember all that! For
instance, "Hoist the topsail halyards. Lower the topsail gallants!"
G r o o m s m a n (annoyed). Why does he keep on interrupting? We shan't
get through a single speech like that!
N a s t a s y a T i m o f e y e v n a. We are dull people, your
excellency, and don't understand a word of all that, but if you were to tell us
something appropriate...
R e v u n o v (not hearing). I've already had supper, thank you. Did you
say there was goose? Thanks... yes. I've remembered the old days... It's
pleasant, young man! You sail on the sea, you have no worries, and (in an
excited tone of voice) do you remember the joy of tacking? Is there a sailor
who doesn't glow at the memory of that manoeuvre? As soon as the word is given
and the whistle blown and the crew begins to go up - it's as if an electric
spark has run through them all. From the captain to the cabin-boy, everybody's
excited.
Z m e y u k i n a. How dull! How dull!
General murmur.
R e v u n o v (who has not heard it properly). Thank you, I've had
supper. (With enthusiasm.) Everybody's ready, and looks to the senior officer.
He gives the command: "Stand by, gallants and topsail braces on the starboard
side, main and counter-braces to port!" Everything's done in a twinkling. Top-
sheets and jib-sheets are pulled... taken to starboard. (Stands up.) The ship
takes the wind and at last the sails fill out. The senior officer orders, "To
the braces," and himself keeps his eye on the mainsail, and when at last this
sail is filling out and the ship begins to turn, he yells at the top of his
voice, "Let go the braces! Loose the main halyards!" Everything flies about,
there's a general confusion for a moment - and everything is done without an
error. The ship has been tacked!
N a s t a s y a T i m o f e y e v n a (exploding). General, your
manners... You ought to be ashamed of yourself, at your age!
R e v u n o v. Did you say sausage? No, I haven't had any... thank you.
N a s t a s y a T i m o f e y e v n a. (loudly). I say you ought to be
ashamed of yourself at your age! General, your manners are awful!
N u n i n (confused). Ladies and gentlemen, is it worth it? Really...
R e v u n o v. In the first place, I'm not a general, but a second-class
naval captain, which, according to the table of precedence, corresponds to
a lieutenant-colonel.
N a s t a s y a T i m o f e y e v n a. If you're not a general, then
what did you go and take our money for? We never paid you money to behave like
that!
R e v u n o v (upset). What money?
N a s t a s y a T i m o f e y e v n a. You know what money. You know
that you got 25 roubles from Andrey Andreyevitch... (To Nunin.) And you look
out, Andrey! I never asked you to hire a man like that!
N u n i n. There now... let it drop. Is it worth it?
R e v u n o v. Paid... hired... What is it?
A p l o m b o v. Just let me ask you this. Did you receive 25 roubles
from Andrey Andreyevitch?
R e v u n o v. What 25 roubles? (Suddenly realizing.) That's what it is!
Now I understand it all... How mean! How mean!
A p l o m b o v. Did you take the money?
R e v u n o v. I haven't taken any money! Get away from me! (Leaves the
table.) How mean! How low! To insult an old man, a sailor, an officer who has
served long and faithfully! If you were decent people I could call somebody
out, but what can I do now? (Absently.) Where's the door? Which way do I go?
Waiter, show me the way out! Waiter! (Going.) How mean! How low! (Exit.)
N a s t a s y a T i m o f e y e v n a. Andrey, where are those
25 roubles?
N u n i n. Is it worth while bothering about such trifles? What does it
matter! Everybody's happy here, and here you go... (Shouts.) The health of the
bride and bridegroom! A march! A march!
The band plays a march.
The health of the bride and bridegroom!
Z m e y u k i n a. I'm suffocating! Give me atmosphere! I'm suffocating
with you all round me!
Y a t s (in a transport of delight). My beauty! My beauty!
Uproar.
G r o o m s m a n (trying to shout everybody else down). Ladies and
gentlemen! On this occasion, if I may say so...
Curtain.
1889, 1902
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